This is Sparta

Want a bit of an adrenaline rush early on a Saturday morning?  Want all your friends to think you're crazy? How about getting down and dirty in miles of mud?  This weekend, I competed in my first adventure race: a craze of trail running mixed with preposterous, boot-camp-like obstacles.  The Super Spartan Staten Island race was eight miles of this insanity.  Each step was a struggle to stay up through the slippery mud, sandy beach, or creek beds we ran through.  Every couple of minutes would be a series of obstacles: walls to climb over or under; cargo nets to scramble up, culverts to crawl through, flames to clear, and more.  A failed obstacle meant thirty burpees, those famous pushup-squat-jump terrors.  A day later, every muscle in my body is sore-- not only my legs from running, but arms, abs, and back from crawling, lifting, climbing, dragging, etc.  The race is popular with military personnel but I overheard this on the race course:

"I've been in basic for three months and I've never seen anything like this."

The video doesn't lie.

Some memorable obstacles:

Barbed Wire Army Crawl:  Fifty yards of flopping onto your belly and squirming through a muddy, rock-ridden puddle.  Careful, there are strips of barbed wire zigzagging about three inches above your head.  If that doesn't cut you, the rocks covering the bottom of the puddle certainly will.

Culvert Swim: I say culvert because the term sewer grossed some people out.  Essentially, we were in a pitch-black tunnel filled with water, and about six inches of head clearance.  Since my worst phobia happens to be drowning--more specifically, getting stuck underwater-- the claustrophobia aspect was not great.  

Monkey Bars: I liked this one because I thought I had lost my monkey bar talents in about fifth grade.  Luckily, I got some momentum going and was able to swing right across kind of easily.  And, all the other girls dropped after the first or second bar.

Cinder Block and Tire Carry: Two separate obstacles, one involved lugging a tire around in a circle up and down a hill.  Going up was heavy but doable; going down was a sheer mudslide that ended up in a tumble of tires and racers.  Dragging a cinderblock through the sand was my most challenging obstacle:  I missed the memo that there were separate weight for the girls, and consequently struggled with my big manly weight as it caught sand in its center and brought me to a near halt.  

There were various walls, puddles, ropes, and more to struggle through.  Luckily though, completing an obstacle gave us a ridiculous adrenaline high that made the stretches of running much more bearable.  And the feeling of running past boys and clearing an obstacle faster than them was extremely rewarding. The military dudes are notorious for talking themselves up at the beginning of a race, but their cockiness comes back to bite them when they fall on their face on a slippery mud slope as you scramble up beside them.

The finish line is marked by a javelin throw, at which I utterly failed.  I did hit the ground right in front of the target, but that wasn't good enough.  After my punishment burpees, the only thing left was escaping the "Spartan Warriors" standing in the finish chute waiting to beat you down with a club.  I pulled the girl card on that one, and I'm not ashamed to admit putting my hands over my head and screaming "I'm a little girl" while my racing buddies distracted them.  And at the finish: a medal, a t-shirt (the real reason I did the race), food, and a beer garden that didn't have their carding act together.  While I'm not usually one to down a foamy brew at 11:30 am, I have to admit it was quite refreshing.  The carbs do wonders for your recovery.

Spartans

Yes, all my friends think I'm crazy, and don't understand why I'd get up at five am on a Saturday to drive to New York and put myself through physical pain.  And yes, I missed a trip to the mall with my friends.  But by noon, when most of the Trinity world was just awakening, I had accomplished some pretty crazy stuff.  And all back in time to celebrate on Saturday night!